Play review: Tender at Soho Theatre

There has been a rising number of plays dealing with various aspects of masculinity, and Dave Harris’s Tender, now showing at Soho Theatre’s main house, adds sex to that equation, with its main characters making up the performers at a private strip club who are known as The Dancing Bears.

Part of the theatre’s landmark new writing season, Tender focuses on Donny (Darren Bennett), Geoff (Dex Lee), and Trae (Kwami Odoom). Their mission is to give pleasure to the women who come to the club: divorcees, bridal parties, long-time singletons. They are stereotypical of the stripper world as the daddy type, the young one, and the one full of arrogance.

After we see them interact and watch their act – a little excruciating, and deliberately so – we find out that their future is about to be rudely affected by a troupe up the road, The Dancing Bulls, who are much hotter and much better endowed. Their brand of dancing, sleaze and sex is under threat by these new upstarts.

Once B (Jessie Mei Li), the daughter of the unseen woman boss, arrives on site, everything the Bears understand about themselves and how they appeal to women is challenged, often in uncomfortable ways. They each display a different insecurity or misunderstanding about masculinity and sexuality, revealing a lot about themselves in the process.

Director Matthew Xia previously collaborated with Harris on the show Tambo & Bones, a huge recent hit at Stratford East. This time, they opt to involve the audience a little more by giving us coloured paddles on arrival (red thumbs down for no, green thumbs up for yes). Although this works well for those seated immediately by the stage or at the edges of rows, it feels unnecessary for everyone else.

The four performances gel together in their own way. Donny is not your typical DILF: he meditates, and although on stage he is happy to rock that persona, he keeps his real feelings at bay. Geoff has to navigate panic attacks that he finds debilitating, and despite being involved with a woman for years, he refuses to commit to a relationship and, as he tells us, happily “plays gay for pay”. And Trey feels frustrated and restricted by the routine of his lovemaking.

How the Dancing Bears came to be is never really explored, nor is the borderline between this and professional pornography. There are issues around consent that are glossed over, even by B, but have to leave the audience questioning whether the pursuit of pleasure on its own terms is worth some of the risks outlined here.

B is defined by her lack of intimate interest in people, but Tender almost concludes that this is an approach that is not to be tolerated, leading to a closing scene of euphoria that is amusing but also awkward. This is a play that offers a lot to take home and think about – it causes a lot of laughter, and is refreshingly frank about the physical and emotional mechanics of trusting another person with your own pleasure.

The setting is a basic office room at first glance, but there are dancing poles and other paraphernalia that allow it to become a performance spot for the Bears. There is a moment late in the play that is totally unique to each show – one which is a highlight of the craft of writing, acting, and listening.

Seduction is a messy business, and Tender doesn’t shy away from that. It isn’t just about allowing someone to “touch, lick, suck” but something much more profound and affirming. Tender challenges the safety of the patriarchy and the sanctity of the male member’s proud attention. In Harris’s world, the myth of male supremacy is there to be commented on and challenged at every turn.

This is a play that commands close attention within the giggles. My seat neighbours were a middle-aged sex therapist and a group of black women who interacted with the play at every moment. We will all have seen a different version of Tender, and that’s the beauty of theatre and what it can achieve.

Tender is another excellent drama in this space that reaches out to men who are conditioned to conform and stay quiet about their problems and any self-doubt.

I’m giving this four and a half stars.

Tender continues at Soho Theatre until 6 Jun 2026 – details here.

Photo credit: Alex Brenner